Life Lately

I don't really like the word busy.. because everyone is "busy." It's called life.

So this is what has been going on in my head & the Meyers house lately.

The month of February was really hard for me this year and I don't think I wanted to admit it until it ended.

As I've shared before, February is the best and worst month of the year for me. I struggle because it's the month I lost my dad but also the month Drew entered our lives. Soooooo it is extremely bittersweet. The only thing that keeps me sane during the month is the fact I know Drew was handpicked in heaven by my dad!

Last year, 2021, marked 6 years without my Dad and honestly the whole month was a blur because I was days into my postpartum journey, home with the sweetest nugget and tons of visitors. My brain wasn't fully comprehending the anniversary like it had in years prior. Which then brought me to this year where I was a total mess on the actual day of February 20th. I think since I "missed" last years anniversary, I was smacked in the face times 2 this year. As much as this blog has helped Chelsea and I so much, I still need the reminder that grief has no end date and it is okay to be sad about someone you haven't seen or spoken with in 7 years.

On top of anniversary emotions.....

I know I cannot be the only person who has felt this but the 1st birthday for your babies is EXTREMELY difficult.. I felt like we didn't have a baby anymore and once he turned one he was going to move out and get married and leave me in the dust.

Letting you all know - he's still here, not married, and still really likes me and Chad.

The 4 weeks leading up to his birthday I would rock him (he doesn't sit still, so I was wrestling him) to the song "You are my sunshine" by Christina Perri and I would be sobbing. Chad would walk into Drew's room and I would be a snotty, blubbery mess. He would just kiss my forehead, remind me it was okay, and continue on with his night.

The day of his birthday was absolutely perfect. We went to a local airport to watch planes take off, went to lunch at a Mexican restaurant where they sang "happy birthday" to him while he wore an enormous sombrero, and we took a nice long walk with Fred at a local brewery. Looking back, I expected Drew to be "different" that day and show excitement because he was 1. Why did I think that? I do not know. But it was no different than any other day of his week. He just spent a gorgeous Wednesday with his parents and dog and ate cake at every meal. THE. DREAM.

When people say "Don't blink" they really mean DO NOT BLINK, because that first year FLEW and I can only imagine how fast time will continue to go, even though it's the same speed every.single.day.

I loved the first year so much.

But going into year 2 is......

Hysterical.

He's a human. He is learning so much. He speaks his own language. He farts like a grown man. He crawls faster than I drive. He knows who Chad and I are, even though he only screams DADA. He waves & uses sign language, says yay and uh oh. He thinks the bathtub is the best place on earth. He knows what no means but chooses yes instead. His favorite hobby is opening the cabinets & drawers and pulling things out. His eyebrows can do crazy movements. He laughs when you chase him. He eats everything and anything. He loves bed time. & most importantly - he LOVES, I mean LOVES dogs and when he sees one, he asks if he can pet it.

Motherhood is truly the most rewarding.

But it is also damn hard & It takes a village & a lot of tissues.

I thank god every day for the support Chad and I received through the first year.

If you are in a season of crying at night to Christina Perri songs. let the tears flow, sister.

If you are in a season of being slapped in the face by grief. I am sending a hug.

If you are in a season of putting the Tupperware back in cabinets. same, good luck.