All the feels

Remember this is a blog to bring normalcy to the tough topics, especially the ones people don't talk about. (This is NOT a pity post!!)

"YOU'RE GLOWING"

Okay thank you, but it's probably because I am sweating my ass off LOL.

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You’ve heard it before, multiple times probably, but pregnancy can be difficult! Most tend to think the physical pain is what is hard.. and it absolutely is, but we often forget or just don't realize how mentally exhausting it can be.

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Chelsea --

I thought I would be more prepared mentally for all of the changes my body and mind would go through.

I. Was. Wrong.

It’s so easy to say to yourself “OH! you’re getting bigger but you’re growing a human!” It’s still so hard to see the changes your body goes through, and although most women go through very similar challenges.. it is not widely discussed how hormones can take over all your thoughts and make you think of yourself and everyone else around you in a completely different light.

I am 23 weeks pregnant writing this, and the last week was very, veryyy hard for me emotionally. I could not stop crying about everything having to do with the way I look now. I know I’m growing life, I know I’m gaining weight in a healthy manner.. but seeing a lot of physical changes on my body has made me remember everything I’m going to go through all over again.. and I didn’t deal with it well the first time.

Stretch marks, huge belly (only to grow larger), swollen face, bigger butt, and the list goes on. Your clothes don't fit and if they do, they don't sit the same, your feet are growing and shoes become tighter, and basically your entire wardrobe has to be put away for the next year. You then feel guilty for buying new clothes you're only going to wear for maybe 6 months or so!! I know that can sound so superficial, but these are just constant reminders.

--1 week before delivery

Again, this is not a pity post, I am in no way looking for anyone to make me feel better. I am SO thankful to be having a healthy pregnancy! I just want to acknowledge how hard seeing your body change really is, because one can be thankful for a miracle of growing a child and also be struggling emotionally at the same time.

I think now knowing the process my body will go through is giving me anxiety..

I am very fortunate to have gone through both pregnancies with some of my best friends because we validated each others feelings on the lack of control.

You have to eat to keep the baby healthy, but sometimes you just want nachos. You have to move in order to prepare yourself for labor, but sometimes you want to go to bed at 7 PM. You want to bend over to put your shoes on and you have to ask your best friend to help because you can't reach (Abby shout out to you!)

All of these are constant battles.

Another battle, my house is a disaster 90% of the time due to Aubrey and just feeling tired. But sometimes we just have to pick our battles.

Jill --

To be honest - my pregnancy physically was a breeze. I had no real complications and I thank god for that every day.

My pregnancy mentally and emotionally was really good until the end. (Chad can confirm)

Once you hit the 36 / 37 week mark (full term), it seemed as if everyone and anyone needed to know the tiny details that are NO ONES business but you and your partner..

"How dilated are you"

"have you had any contractions"

"are you nervous"

"how do you feel"

"are you excited for the first glass of Champagne?" HELL YES I AM!

**My Mother in law stocked the fridge with 5 bottles for when we got home from the hospital LOL

I knew people cared and I knew people were excited. But there is / was no one in the world who wanted that sweet boy here more than I did..

I had a full on meltdown at 39 weeks. And by meltdown I truly mean a temper tantrum, the "eh eh eh eh eh" breathing while crying (do you know what I mean?). I couldn't even get my thoughts together and it was all based on fear.

I was so scared. I hated my body. I couldn't tie my snow boots. My jackets didn't fit. Maternity leave paperwork. Will I love him the way I'm supposed to love him. Do I try breast feeding or stick with my gut? My stretch marks were up my stomach inches upon inches. And I just felt the "oh shit" moment of "ready or not here he comes."

Turns out, It was a great transition .. probably the best transition I have ever had in life.

(postpartum journey's coming soon)

But back to what Chelsea said - hormones are NO joke and a lot of times they win and we must pick our battles.

-- 1 day before delivery

WE feel you. WE hear you. and WE see you mama's.

It is okay to feel ALL the feels <3

xoxo,

Jill & Chels