How to keep your love alive

It is really easy to focus on everything but your marriage after a baby arrives.

Laundry needs to get done and put away (the worst part), the kitchen needs to be clean, toys need to be put back, meal prepping, working, changing diapers, doing obnoxious noises to get the baby to smile.. you get it!

I feel as if we had the benefit of the doubt going into parenthood because we have 8 nieces and nephews. I knew a lot about the process of becoming a parent because I watched my siblings go through it first.

Obviously there was tons of information I did not know how to do but the main piece was how to keep the marriage a priority even though there were other priorities on the list. I have mentioned in previous posts that at 39 weeks pregnant I had a full on meltdown about this new beginning we were about to embrace. The meltdown was solely based on fear.

I was terrified to lose what Chad and I started our relationship with - passion, love, laughter, dancing, date nights, etc. Turns out - the moment Drew entered the world, the 3 of us cried together and I fell in love all over again with my husband.

Chad always mentions how he really couldn't do much for me during pregnancy to help with the 'pregnancy problems,' for example: he couldn't help me sleep better, tell the baby to stop kicking me in the ribs, heartburn, swollen feet, back aches, lighting crotch (I'm not kidding, it's a thing), the constant bathroom breaks. again you get it :)

The one thing he could do was hug and say "it will all be okay." And he was right - it was all okay.

This allllll brings me to how to keep your love alive after the cute babe enters this crazy world.

It is SO SO SO important to continue to date your spouse.We have been married for a little over 3 years and while "dating" looks a little different now - it happens.

Full Disclosure - I am NO expert and we are NOT perfect

So here are some affordable ideas that can happen at anytime.

• game nights when the baby goes to bed. We play Farkle and Scrabble.

• Dinner dates at the kitchen table. Put the phones away and recap your days with your partner.

• Hold hands in the car. It sounds SO silly but it's a simple touch to let the other know you love them.

• Go on walks/ exercise- it releases feel good hormones (serotonin and dopamine) that help increase mood.

• Drink a beer or a glass of wine together outside. The change of scenery helps tremendously.

• Put your wedding song on and dance in the kitchen. I promise it will take you back to that night!

• Cook a delicious meal together and then stuff your faces with it.

• Snuggle up on the couch and watch a new series.

• Get up early and drink a cup of coffee together. Set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier so you can enjoy peace and quiet.

• Doing yard work or a chore together. Put on a good playlist you both enjoy and divide and conquer.

• Do a project together. paint a room in the house. make a gallery wall of pictures.

Saving involved:

• PLAN A TRIP! Go away just you two.

Plan ahead if you are in need of an outting. Ask a month or 2 in advance for a babysitter so both parties can prepare. I know it absolutely takes a village and can be very stressful!

While these suggestions are what works for me and my husband, that doesn't mean they will work for you - and that is okay! But find 'dates' that do work for you. Remember why you fell in love with your partner. Communicate your needs. Be present when they are present.

These details above sound so simple - but they are SO easy to forget!

& remember - dates don't always have to be dinner at a restaurant, be creative!

**photo from our first outing after Drew was born! I was 8 weeks postpartum!