Golden rule: Don't say 'um'

My sister, Beth Ann, shared these words at our Father's funeral

My father is the person I'd usually go to when putting something like this together. He is great with words and he'd remind me to do all of the things a well spoken person does. "Beth Ann, stand tall, speak clearly, look at the audience and don't say um." Well Dad, I will do my best but I am not making any promises.

Putting words on to paper about my dad has been nearly impossible. Not because I dont have anything to say, but because there are so many wonderful things I could share. So many stories, laughs, remarkable things about the person he is. Seeing so many faces here today and yesterday, it is truly humbling to know just how many lives my dad touched.

What I admire most about my dad is his love for my mom. His dedication and commitment to her is everlasting. If something was important to her, it immidiatley became important to him.

Just last Wednesday I was over at my parents house for dinner.If you know my mom you know that she is always redecorating something. My parents have a beautiful hom and mom was talking about getting a new chair for the family room. We were discussing colors for this chair, immediately dad turns his nose up at the idea mom had, and came up with what he thought were better options. Well, within 20 minutes mom had talked him into this blue chair. The point of this story is that dad does what makes mom happy -- because her happiness means the world to him. And she did the same, put your spouses needs before yours. Happily married for 33 years, together for 40. They sure know the secret to a successful marriage. Thank you for setting such a wonderful example of what that should look like for Scott, Tim, Jill and I.

As we were 'preparing' for this - if there is any way you can possibly prepare, we shared many laughs among us about dad. What some don't know is that dad has a very witty sense of humor. Reading old text messages dad had sent us all. Hysterically laughing, something he loved to watch us do. Text message conversations -- initiated by dad "I'm fine, how are you." This was often sent to me when he claims I didn't check in as often as he felt appropriate. Another, sent to my brother Scott - "is that boy of yours effectively using the little boys room" referring to Scott and Tess' 2.5 year old son, Cole. He has a way with words that I find extremely comforting. Whether the purpose is to make you laugh or just feel better.

One of my fondest memories is from my Wedding day. He was just about to walk me down the aisle to my 'then' future husband. It was just him and I in the back of the church and I guess he could sense my nerves. He looks at me and says "What are you nervous for? Don't you know that everyone will be looking at me?"

Scott, Tim, Jill and I have spent our entire lives being loved, raised properly, emotionally supported,and cheered for from the sidelines by Mom and Dad. Dad never missed a game, he found a lot of joy watching us play sports and doing the things we loved to do.

We were taught many things -- from riding a bike, to catching a typo, to giving a good handshake - something dad is great at giving. It was important to him that we were taught how to spot a gentleman - because he is exactly that. Scott and Tim were raised to be gentleman and Jill and I were taught what to look for in a gentleman. I am grateful to have had that guidance.

Thinking back to my childhood I remember that I wanted to marry someone just like my dad - that may sound strange, but I am lucky to say that I found a man that shares many of my dads amazing qualities.

As you all remember my dad, please remember his love and dedication to our family, his sense of humor and his gentle ways. He is a spectacular man that is clearly needed some place else.

Dad, you have provided us with the strength to get through this tragedy and memories to last a lifetime.

Love you more..